


"let's (not) end this"

by GilgaNyan (NarryEm)



Series: History Makers!!! on ICE [26]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Heavy Angst, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 15:58:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8851141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryEm/pseuds/GilgaNyan
Summary: It’s as though Viktor’s world came crumbling down.  All that they have built up to in the last eight months: gone.And Viktor will be damned if he goes down without a fight.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/5363674) is a Russian translation of the fic, courtesy of gingerminded ^♡^
> 
> I am a mess of emotions after ep 11.  At first I was happy that the other chara noticed Viktuuri’s engagement ring but then the ending.  Why must you break my heart like this (insert the Hinata gif. Speaking of, Murase Ayumu is too cute.  And have you heard him acting out a 5 y.o. girl? And that man is almost 30)

 

“By the way, Yuuri. . . What did you want to talk to me about?”

Viktor’s senses are tingling as Yuuri takes his time, blowing out a deep breath to stall for time.  Viktor has not know Yuuri for a long time but he has been at Yuuri’s side long enough to know that something is off.

“Right.  After the Final let’s end this.”

Viktor stares blankly at Yuuri.  He couldn’t have heard it right.

“Sorry, what?  I don’t think I quite heard you.  I could have sworn that I just heard something like a break-up.”

“Don’t try to joke your way out of this, Viktor.  I’m serious.  From the beginning, this has been my plan all along.  I would give this year’s Grand Prix my last go and then retire.   These past eight months with you have been the most intense period of my skating career.  But . . . I don’t want to keep you to myself for my selfish reasons.  The world needs you back on the ice and they can’t have what they want if I stand in the way.   I need to do this, Viktor.  So please . . .”

Viktor reaches out for Yuuri’s hand.  His heart breaks even more as Yuuri flinches away from his touch.

“Yuuri.  Let’s . . . let’s talk this out.  You gave me the ring yesterday.  When I told everyone that we would get married after you win gold, you didn’t say anything either.  Why are you doing this now?  Is it the nerves?  Do you feel like you have to put some kind of pressure on yourself after your short programme?  I assure you, it was the best you could have done, Yu—”

“See?” Yuuri explodes.  “‘Best you could have done’.  You agree that it wasn’t my best performance, period.  I can’t keep this up,” Yuuri gestures between them, “ _and_ focus on my skating.  Viktor, please.  Don’t make this any harder on me than it needs to be.”

Viktor persists and takes both of Yuuri’s hands into his own.  “I won’t let you throw away our time together like this.  Have the last eight months meant nothing to you?  We shared so much and there is so much more that we can achieve together.  I don’t   _want_ to go back skating; I don’t _need_ to!  Not when I have you!  I was stuck in a dead zone without any new inspiration to surprise the audience.  That’s when I saw you go wild at the banquet.  You captured my heart when we danced the night away.  You took me by surprise again when you danced my routine for _‘Stammi Vicino’._   To me, that was the best form of a love confession that anyone could have given me.”

Yuuri wrenches his hands away.  “You don’t need _me_ to continue on, either.  I’m sure that Yurio would benefit more from your coaching.  I’ve seen the way you watched Yurio skate, and then Chris.  You have never looked at me with the same eyes that you look at them!”

Viktor presses his palm against his forehead.  Fuck.  What can he say to dissuade Yuuri?  What can he do to convince Yuuri that their love was not for naught?

“Of course I don’t!  How can I look at the other skaters with the same eyes that I look at my lover?  Have you even seen the way that I look at _you_ when you skate?  You have told me to absolutely keep my eyes on me when you skate but you never needed to tell me that.  I was captivated from the moment I saw you dance at the banquet, Yuuri.  Please.  Calm down and think on this.”

“I keep telling you,” Yuuri grits out between his teeth.  “This has been my plan from the beginning.  I didn’t plan to fall for a man who was literally at the top of the world.  I didn’t predict that I would get to know the human Viktor who is goofy and not as perfect as the world worships you to be.  I didn’t think that I could discover the love around me and my skater self with your help.”

Yuuri’s eyes are filling up with tears and honestly, Viktor is close to tears himself.  But he doesn’t want to.  If he cries, he feels as though that will cement his defeat.

“Then hold on to it,” Viktor tries.  “You told me to just stay next to you and believe that you will win, right?  How can I do that when my head is full of thoughts about our break-up?  How can I keep watching you on the ice when my heart is devoid of any emotion and will?”

Viktor scoots over to the bed and pushes Yuuri down.  He doesn’t leave any room for Yuuri escape either, caging him in with his arms and legs.

“Let me go, Viktor,” Yuuri says in a flat, lifeless voice.  “I’ll go see if I can get my own room.”

Viktor crouches down closer so that his nose is nearly touching Yuuri’s.  “The front desk should be closed by now.  I still refuse to believe that our love died out overnight.  Tell me, Yuuri.  Please tell me what I can do to prove that our love with prevail.”

“How can you say that?” Yuuri lashes out.  He kicks Viktor in the stomach and damn, it fucking hurts.  But the physical pain is nothing compared to the pain that has consumed his heart.

“I am saying this because I love you!  Haven’t I made myself clear time and time again?  I love you and nothing in this damned world can change that fact!  Until death do us apart, right?  That’s how I feel about you, Yuuri Katsuki.”

Yuuri bites down on his lip until a drop of blood spills out.  “You will feel differently soon enough.  Years from now, when you look back at this year of your life, you will remember a skater you decided to take under your wing.  You will see a man who idolised you and failed to make you proud.  That’s all that I will be in your future.”

“What about _our_ future?” Viktor shouts back.  “Years from now, when we are talking nonsense in your bed at Hasetsu, I will look recall this moment and you will blush saying that it was your nerves talking, not your true feelings.  We will fall asleep holding hands, with this same ring on our ring fingers but on our left hands!”

Yuuri turns his face away as Viktor grabs Yuuri’s right hand and all but shoves the ring in his face. 

“Why can’t you have faith in us as much as I do?” Viktor sobs. 

Ah.  There it is.  He can’t even remember the last time he cried.  Both Yakov and his parents were Spartan.  A man’s tears mean that he is weak, they would say.  Even at a young age, Viktor learnt to keep his tears from the world.  The only way he could express his true self and rebel back was by growing his hair out until he was forced to give it up as his body changed.

Yuuri glances back.  He is visibly shaken to see Viktor in tears.  Right, whilst Yuuri has cried in front of Viktor, this is the first time that Yuuri has seen Viktor lose it in this way.  Usually, Viktor would be ashamed to let other people see him cry; letting others see him as someone vulnerable is the last thing that Viktor wants.

But with Yuuri, it’s different.  They already share a bond that cannot be compared to that of a simple companionship nor lovers.  What they have is special.

And he will not let Yuuri throw it all away.  He _can’t_.

“Yuuri,” he breathes out, kissing Yuuri on the lips.  Yuuri is unresponsive, but this is not like the time Viktor kissed him for the first time in China.  He is holding back, refusing to give in to Viktor’s pleas.

“Why?” Viktor hates the way his voice trembles, going hoarse as his tears threaten to overwhelm me.  “Why, Yuuri?”

Yuuri finally looks him in the eye.  His hands are raised to cup Viktor’s face.  “Because it is better this way, Viktor.”

The whispered line betrays the lack of resolve and sadness in Yuuri’s bright brown eyes.

“Liar,” Viktor points out.  “I know that you are a man of many talents, Yuuri, but lying is not one of them.  Look me in the eyes again and tell me that us breaking up is the better way to go.”

“Don’t make me do this, Viktor,” Yuuri whispers, his voice cracking.  “I don’t want to drive us apart any more than I have to.”

“Then don’t!” Viktor pleads.  “I don’t understand why you think it has to end this way.  Think about last night!  Think about when you skated my routine!  Remember the banquet when you stole my heart!  You can’t leave me like this, Yuuri.  I won’t let you!”

Yuuri’s hands drop.  “It has to.  Viktor, if you . . . if you love me, you’ll let me go.”

“Fuck that,” Viktor snorts.  “I know that if you leave right now, there is a good chance that you’ll never return to my side.  So. . . . please.”

“Viktor.” Yuuri says, again his voice completely dead and monotone.  “Отпустите.” 

The world spins around Viktor.  Or, rather, maybe time has frozen, leaving the two of them in a bubble.  He watches Yuuri push him off and climb out of the bed.  Yuuri gives Viktor one final glance over his shoulder before he walks out the door.

“Fuck!” Viktor screams, slamming his fists into the mattress.  “Блядь! Блядь!  Блядь!”

He picks up his coat and throws it across the room.  It’s not enough.  His shoulders are heaving with his breaths and he can’t calm down. 

Yuuri walked out on him.  Yuuri Katsuki, the fucking love of his life, just walked out on him.And for what?  Out of fear?  Cowardice?  What for?  Wasn’t their love worth protecting even if the whole world seemed to be against them?  On the contrary, the media have been nothing but respectful and cheerful when they first kissed in China.  They made a light note of it when the first paparazzi shots of their rings surfaced on the internet.

So why?

 

**Author's Note:**

> Отпустите: let me go  
> Блядь: fuck  
> Let's hope Google did its job right.
> 
>  
> 
> on a lighter note, does Chis is gay? was that a boyf or just a friend? I need to know!


End file.
